Subtle Selfishness

While some of the kings in our series this summer might be hard to relate to, I see myself in Hezekiah and I wonder if you do as well. As Jeff said Hezekiah was the best of the good, but had selfishness in his heart revealed in his prayers and actions. I’m sometimes shocked at how easy it is for me to look morally good on the outside while behind the scenes my heart is seeking my own good. 

Maybe you can relate. Has your prayer life been more of a list of wants or more about the Lord and who He is? Are you taking dinner to a new mom with an attitude of grumbling in the car before smiles and a humble “you’re welcome” at the door? When asked “How are you doing?” do you reply with a “Great, how are you?” instead of honest reflection and maybe confession that you’re not doing as well as you look to be. 

It’s true, only the Lord knows our hearts, but living in Biblical community, in a place where vulnerability is pursued above saving face, is the best earthly way I’ve found to keep these things in check. If we’re married, it’s easy to decide our spouses take in that role, and while that’s true and a gift from the Lord, it’s so important to bring similar vulnerability to our coffee dates and DG dinners. To choose to be known by those around us allow the community to do it’s work of Gospel exposure of selfishness. When our eyes are fixed on ourself and our own gains, they aren’t fixed on Jesus and we will be found out as selfishness begins to slowly rule. Maybe not like Hezekiah, will we know the details of how our future generations will fall, but in subtle ways that we need community to help root out. 

Would you be willing to ask yourself if you have a short list of men or women who you’re honest enough with so they can point out your subtle selfishness?  If you’re in a DG, are you taking advantage of those relationships primed and ready for vulnerability? If you have the opportunity to sit at play dates, coffees or lunches with men and women who love Jesus, are you creating safe spaces for them to point out where your selfishness may have taken root? On the flip side, are you prayerful about conversations of gentle rebuke when you see subtle selfishness in your community? If not, I encourage you to be brave and take this leap into what the Lord has for you.

By Molly Jamison